


Why call me daddy when you can make me one?

by Blue_Jay23



Series: Haikyuu Group Chat Shenanigans [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), How Do I Tag, I honestly don't know what happened, I hope, I swear, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Nor is Bokuto, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Swearing, Ushijima isn't as oblivious, Why Did I Write This?, at the IwaOi part, chatfic, i think, its not as bad as it seems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Jay23/pseuds/Blue_Jay23
Summary: Sooo, texting prank. I keep seeing them on Youtube, and I wanted to do one, but I didn't want to do it on Youtube sooo on Ao3 it goesum yeaI mostly made this because I was bored
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Haikyuu Group Chat Shenanigans [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133303
Comments: 7
Kudos: 146





	Why call me daddy when you can make me one?

**Author's Note:**

> Milk man - Kageyama  
> AsaJesus - Asahi  
> Salt shaker - Tsukishima  
> Simp #1 - Tanaka  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> Iwa-Chan - Iwaizumi  
> Mattsun - Matsukawa  
> Rooster - Kuroo  
> Russian giant - Lev  
> Daddy owl - Bokuto  
> Germaphobe - Sakusa  
> The better twin - Osamu  
> Semi semi - Semi  
> Farmer - Ushijima  
> Tangerine - Hinata  
> Simp #2 - Noya  
> Yams - Yamaguchi  
> EnnoSHITa - Ennoshita  
> Sugamama - Suga  
> PrettyKawa - Oikawa  
> No homo - Hanamaki  
> Leave me alone - Kenma  
> Don't mention my height - Yaku  
> IwaizumisTwin - Akaashi  
> Sexy germ - Atsumu  
> Sexy Onigiri - Suna  
> ShiraBOO - Shirabu  
> Miracle boy - Tendou

**Tops Groupchat**

Daddy owl: GUYS I HAVE AN IDEA

Rooster: BOKUBRO

Daddy owl: KUROBRO

Rooster: BOKUBROO

Daddy owl: KUROBROO

Germaphobe: If one of you says bro one more time-

Iwa-Chan: Can y'all shut up

_Dadchi is online_

Dadchi: IT IS 2 IN THE MORNING

Dadchi: WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP

Farmer: Then what are you doing up Daichi?

Dadchi: I-...

Russian giant: What's your idea Bokuto-san

Daddy owl: RIGHT

Daddy owl: WHAT IF WE-

_Salt shaker is online_

Salt shaker: No

Rooster: COME ON TSUKKIIII

Salt shaker: No

_Salt shaker is offline_

_Salt shaker is online_

Salt shaker: And don't call me that

_Salt shaker is offline_

Daddy owl: COME ONN

Rooster: If you do it, I'll help Chibi-chan with his homework

_Salt shaker is online_

Salt shaker: ...Fine

Daddy owl: SO WHAT IF WE DID LIKE A PRANK ON OUR BOYFRIENDS OR SOMETHING

Milk man: That sounds fun

Russian giant: Bokuto-san always has good ideas so I'll do it

Daddy owl: 🥺 LEVVV

AsaJesus: Is it holy

The better twin: Are you

AsaJesus: ...

The better twin: Exactly

Simp #1: I'm in

Semi semi: Me too

Dadchi: If I do it, will you stop messaging the groupchat at 2 in the morning

Daddy owl: No promises

Dadchi: ...Whatever

Mattsun: I'll do it

The better twin: ^

Farmer: ^

Rooster: Iwaizumii pleaseee

Iwa-Chan: Fine whatever

Iwa-Chan: If I have to do it, so does Sakusa

Germaphobe: What?!

Daddy owl: SAKUSAAA 

Germaphobe: No

The better twin: Do it or I'll take your boyfriend away

Germaphobe: ...

Germaphobe: Bitch

Osamu: Is that a no

Germaphobe: FINE 

Daddy owl: YESS 

Salt shaker: Stop screaming

Daddy owl: You're so mean Tsukki

Salt shaker: Don't call me that

Milk man: What's the prank?

Daddy owl: Let's message our boyfriends saying, "Why call me daddy when you can make me one"

Germaphobe: No

The better twin: What?

Germaphobe: ...

The better twin: Exactly 

Russian giant: That's such a good idea Bokuto-san!

Russian giant: Yaku will probably kick me, but it'll be worth it

Farmer: But Satori already calls me da-

Semi Semi: 😃

Daddy owl: 😄

Iwa-Chan: 😃

Mattsun: 😳

Rooster: ...

Daddy owl: Kageyama! You go first!

Milk man: What about-

Milk man: Okay

**Tangerine and Milk man private chat**

Milk man: Boke

Milk man: Wake up

Milk man: Boke

_Tangerine is online_

Tangerine: Kags? 

Tangerine: Why are you awake?

Milk man: I have a question 

Tangerine: Yes?

Milk man: Why call me daddy when you can make me one?

Tangerine: Huh

Tangerine: ...

Tangerine: HUH

Tangerine: BAKA KAGEYAMA BAKA

Tangerine: WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT

Milk man: Why not?

Tangerine: Why though?

Milk man: Why not?

Tangerine: Why?

Milk man: Boke I'm coming over

Tangerine:🤺 BACK 🤺 BACK 🤺 I SAID

Milk man: Hinata

Tangerine: 😀 Yes?

Milk man: Open your window

Tangerine: WHAT THE-

Tangerine: HOW ARE YOU ALREADY HERE

Tangerine: HELPVISQNOREFPTL-

_Tangerine is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Milk man sent 3 screenshots_

_Milk man is offline_

Rooster: Damn

Daddy owl: ASAHI YOUR TURN

AsaJesus: Let's just get this over with

**Simp #2 and AsaJesus private chat**

AsaJesus: Noya

Simp #2: Yes Asahi?

AsaJesus: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

Simp #2: Asahi are you horny?

AsaJesus: ...

Simp #2: I'm omw

AsaJesus: Wait what-

_Simp #2 is offline_

AsaJesus: Wait! Noya-

_Simp #2 is online_

Simp #2: Hm?

AsaJesus: I'm not horny

Simp #2: ...but-

Simp #2: But I am

AsaJesus: ...

_Simp #2 sent one attachment_

AsaJesus: ...What's this for?

AsaJesus: ACK- 

AsaJesus: NOYA!!

Simp #2: Can I come over now?

AsaJesus: Yea...

Simp #2: Great!

_Simp #2 is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_AsaJesus sent 3 screenshots_

Germaphobe: Horny mf

Salt shaker: Like you aren't

Rooster: Jesus who?

AsaJesus: Shut up

Rooster: @Salt shaker

Salt shaker: You're helping Hinata AND Kageyama study later

Rooster: WHAT-

Salt Shaker: Too late

**Yams and Salt shaker private chat**

Yams: Tsukkiii

Salt shaker: Yes Yams?

Yams: I love youuu

Salt shaker: I love you too

Yams: 🥺

Salt shaker: 💚

Salt shaker: Anyways, I have something I need to ask you

Yams: What is it Tsukki

Salt shaker: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

Yams: TSUKKI 😳

Salt shaker: 😏

Yams: Can I come over 😩

Salt shaker: Ofc 

Yams: Yayy I love you Tsukki

Salt shaker: You too

Yams: I'll be there in 5 

Salt shaker: K

_Yams is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Salt shaker sent 3 screenshots_

Rooster: Awww you have a soft sidee

Dadchi: I didn't know you could be so nice Tsukishima

Salt shaker: 😒

Germaphobe: It's so sweet I could throw up 🤢

Russian giant: I wish Yaku-san was that nice 😩

Germaphobe: Boo you whore

Semi semi: Who's going next?

Dadchi: I'll go

**Sugamama and Dadchi private chat**

Dadchi: Sugar

Sugamama: Yes Daichi?

Dadchi: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

Sugamama: ...

Sugamama: WE HAVE 10 KIDS

Sugamama: YOU WANT MORE

Dadchi: 😀 No I-

Sugamama: ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A STROKE

Dadchi: Honey calm down

Sugamama: 😤

Dadchi: I mean if you want to- 😏

Sugamama: SAWAMURA DAICHI

Dadchi: Sorry, sorry

Sugamama: You better be

Sugamama: Now come over

Dadchi: Yes, yes 

Dadchi: I'll be over in 15

Sugamama: What was that?

Dadchi: I meant 10

Sugamama: Excuse me?

Dadchi: 5

Sugamama: Thank you

Dadchi: 🤥 ❤️

Sugamama: 😊 😚 ❤️

_Sugamama is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Dadchi sent 3 screenshots_

Dadchi: Now I have to go before he gets really mad

_Dadchi is offline_

Iwa-Chan: Damn your boyfriend's scary

Semi semi: @Salt shaker Is your mom usually this intense

Salt shaker: Yea

AsaJesus: You should've seen him in 1st and 2nd year

Daddy owl: I'm glad Akaashi's not that intense

The better twin: Who's up?

Iwa-Chan: Me

**Iwa-Chan and PrettyKawa private chat**

Iwa-Chan: Oi shittykawa

PrettyKawa: Iwa-Channn

PrettyKawa: Good morning!

PrettyKawa: How can your beautiful, magnificent boyfriend help you on this fine day?

Iwa-Chan: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

PrettyKawa: Iwa~ so bold

Iwa-Chan: Don't get the wrong idea

Iwa-Chan: It was something Bokuto came up with

PrettyKawa: Are you sureeee

Iwa-Chan: ...Yes

PrettyKawa: So you're saying you don't want to fuck me?

Iwa-Chan: ...

PrettyKawa: You don't want to slam me against the wall and claim me?

PrettyKawa: Leave your mark on me and make me yours

PrettyKawa: Fuck me until I can't walk

PrettyKawa: What about it Iwa-Chan?

Iwa-Chan: ...

Iwa-Chan: Shit

PrettyKawa: Hmm

PrettyKawa: I'll be waiting Iwa-Chan~

Iwa-Chan: Brat

PrettyKawa: You love it

Iwa-Chan: Hell yeah I do

PrettyKawa: 😘

_PrettyKawa is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Iwa-Chan sent 3 screenshots_

_Iwa-Chan is offline_

The better twin: Damnnn

Rooster: 😳

Daddy owl: Yuhhh get into ittt

Mattsun: Wow, I didn't know my former ace and captain were that sexual

The better twin: @Mattsun Let's see how sexual you and your boyfriend are

**No homo and Mattsun private chat**

Mattsun: Hey

No homo: Yes?

Mattsun: Why call me daddy when you can make me one?

No homo: ...

No homo: No homo?

Mattsun: ...

Mattsun: Yes homo

No homo: ...

No homo: Bet

_No homo is offline_

Mattsun: ...

**Tops Groupchat**

_Mattsun sent a screenshot_

The better twin: I-

Rooster: That was fast

Daddy owl: ...Kurobro, your turn

Rooster: Aight

**Leave me alone and Rooster private chat**

Rooster: Kitten

Leave me alone: What do you need Kuroo

Leave me alone: I'm in the middle of a game

Rooster: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

Leave me alone: ...

Leave me alone: Do you want me to call you daddy?

Rooster: I-

Leave me alone: You could've just said that

Rooster: Kitten-

Leave me alone: I mean, we already do bondage but if you have a daddy kink then-

Rooster: KITTEN

Rooster: IT WAS AN IDEA BOKUTO CAME UP WITH

Leave me alone: ...

Leave me alone: So you don't want me to call you daddy?

Rooster: I mean...👉👈

Leave me alone: Let me finish my game then you can come over

Rooster: Kyanmaaaa 😩 ❤️

Leave me alone: ❤️

_Leave me alone is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Rooster sent 3 screenshots_

Russian giant: So uhhh bondage?

Daddy owl: Bro 😳

Rooster: 😏

Germaphobe: Wow didn't know you were into that kind of thing

Rooster: Shut it _Omi_

Germaphobe: Oi

Russian giant: CAN I GO

The better twin: Knock yourself out

Farmer: Be careful, don't knock yourself out

The better twin: ...

**Don't mention my height and Russian giant private chat**

Russian giant: Yaku-san!

Don't mention my height: Yes, Lev?

Russian giant: Why call me daddy when you can make me one?

Don't mention my height: ...

Don't mention my height: 100 receives right now

Russian giant: But its Saturday!

Don't mention my height: I don't care. Get your ass to the gym

Russian giant: Yakuuu

Don't mention my height: 200 recieves

Russian giant: WHAT

Don't mention my height: Do you want 300?

Russian giant: No, no I'm coming

Don't mention my height: Good. After, we can go to my house

Russian giant: Yaku-san! 😍

Don't mention my height: 😒 

_Don't mention my height is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Russian giant sent 3 screenshots_

Russian giant: I have to go now or else Yaku-san will kick me 😩

_Russian giant is offline_

Semi semi: You know what they say

Mattsun: The shorter they are, the closer they are to hell

Daddy owl: MY TURNNN

Rooster: GO BOKUBRO

**Daddy owl and IwaizumisTwin private chat**

Daddy owl: Why call me daddy when you can make me one?

_IwaizumisTwin is online_

IwaizumisTwin: ...

IwaizumisTwin: Bokuto-san, we just did it

IwaizumisTwin: Do you want to do it again?

Daddy owl: ...

Daddy owl: Can we?

IwaizumisTwin: I can handle it

Daddy owl: AGAASHEEE 😩 😍

IwaizumisTwin: After, we can watch a movie

IwaizumisTwin: I have some pocky too

Daddy owl: 🥺 

IwaizumisTwin: I'll be waiting 🥰

Daddy owl: 😚 

_IwaizumisTwin is offline_

**Tops groupchat**

_Daddy owl sent 2 screenshots_

Rooster: GO GET SOMEEE

Daddy owl: 🤤

_Daddy owl is offline_

The better twin: Damn, Akaashi's got stamina

Salt shaker: Yams is here, bye losers

_Salt shaker is offline_

Rooster: Mean Tsukki!

The better twin: Anyways, @Germaphobe

Germaphobe: What

The better twin: Your turn

Germaphobe: Fuck you

The better twin: No thanks, you can do that to 'Tsumu tho

Germaphobe: ...

**Sexy germ and Germaphobe private chat**

Germaphobe: Oi germ

Sexy germ: Omii 😍

Sexy germ: You texted first!!

Germaphobe: ...

Sexy germ: What do you need Omi?

Germaphobe: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

Sexy germ: ...

_Sexy germ is offline_

Germaphobe: ...

_Sexy germ is online_

Sexy germ: Omi?

Germaphobe: Yes?

Germaphobe: Why'd you go offline?

Sexy germ: Who are you?

Germaphobe: ...

Sexy germ: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OMI

Germaphobe: Calm down idiot, it's me

Sexy germ: ...really?

Germaphobe: Yes

Sexy germ: Say Clorox if you need help

Germaphobe: ...

Germaphobe: Fuck you, I'm leaving

Sexy germ: OMI! I'm sorry!

Sexy germ: Can I come over? 🥺 👉👈

Germaphobe: ...Have you showered?

Sexy germ: 3 times!

Germaphobe: Fine, come over

Sexy germ: I'll be over in 10! 😘

Germaphobe: 😒 😘

**Tops Groupchat**

_Germaphobe sent 3 screenshots_

The better twin: Didn't know you could be nice

Germaphobe: Bitch

AsaJesus: Noya's here! I'll pray for your thirsty asses 🙏

_AsaJesus is offline_

Germaphobe: You go @The better twin

**Sexy onigiri and The better twin private chat**

Sexy onigiri: So ofc, I punched a motherfucker

The better twin: Pfft-

The better twin: Did they bruise?

Sexy onigiri: Probably, idk

The better twin: Did you just leave after?

Sexy onigiri: Duh, I ain't listening to no bitch whine 😒

The better twin: Wanna come over?

Sexy onigiri: What about piss-boy?

The better twin: He's going to his boyfriend's house

Sexy onigiri: Sure, I'm coming

The better twin:😚

Sexy onigiri: ❤️

_Sexy onigiri is offline_

The better twin: Wait

_Sexy onigiri is online_

Sexy onigiri: What?

The better twin: I was supposed to prank you 

Sexy onigiri: What was the prank?

The better twin: Something like, "Why call me daddy when you can make me one"

Sexy onigiri: Oh, do you wanna redo it

The better twin: Nah

Sexy onigiri: k

_Sexy onigiri is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_The better twin sent 3 screenshots_

Germaphobe: Piss-boy?

The better twin: Yea, what about it

Germaphobe: You piece of shi-

Semi semi: Before we get at each other's throats, I'll go

**ShiraBOO and Semi semi private chat**

Semi semi: Babe

ShiraBOO: Hm?

Semi semi: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

ShiraBOO: ...

Semi semi: GAH

ShiraBOO: Don't be shy, open the door

Semi semi: oh no

_ShiraBOO is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Semi semi sent a screenshot_

_Semi semi is offline_

Rooster: Damn, how do your boyfriends travel so quickly

The better twin: Who knows

Farmer: I believe it is my turn

**Miracle boy and Farmer private chat**

Farmer: Satori

Farmer: Waka-chan?

Miracle boy: Can you not sleep?

Farmer: I must ask you a question

Miracle boy: What's your question Waka-chan

Farmer: Why call me daddy when you can make me one

Miracle boy: 😳😏

Miracle boy: Waka-chan~

Miracle boy: I mean, I can do both 

Farmer: Can I come over?

Miracle boy: Definitely 

Famer: I'll be there in a few

Farmer: Get in position 

Miracle boy: Of course

Miracle boy: 🤤😘

Famer: 😘

_Miracle boy is offline_

**Tops Groupchat**

_Farmer sent 2 screenshots_

_Farmer is offline_

Germaphobe: And I thought Ushijima would be a little less horny

Rooster: Kenma just messaged me, later

_Rooster is offline_

Germaphobe: Tsumu's here, bye bitches

_Germaphobe is offline_

_Mattsun is offline_

_The better twin is offline_


End file.
